Joining the 'Bad Mom' Band Wagon


Despite what some of the more cynical blog reviewers would have you believe...I don't really think that 'bad parenting' is something that we, as a blogging group are proudly proclaiming as being a badge of honor amongst us. For some reason, when a MB chooses to share some of her more, let's say, humble moments of parenting with her fellow bloggers, she's allowing all of us to breathe that collective sigh of relief knowing that "I'm not the only one who has said/done that".


Called a 'bitch' and 'ugly' by my own mom, nice eh??? Thanks :-))



OUCH!

When I saw this Facebook status update posted by my own 13 year old daughter I was immediately transported back to my own adolescence and reminded of similar scenes that played out between my mother and I. I won't regale you with the details but needless to say, my mother and I did not enjoy a warm, close mother/daughter relationship while I was growing up and remain somewhat estranged to this very day.

I have always maintained that I would NOT become my mother, EVER. I swore that when I had a daughter I would remember how much I wanted a mother to count on and to support and comfort me as I faced the world. Up until this point, I think I've been pretty successful.

Alas, the teenage years have commenced, along with raging hormones, questionable peer relationships and her increasing ambivalence and anger around her father's move to another province where he has remarried and fathered another child.

My daughter needs me now more than ever and frankly, sometimes I fall down on the job. My mothering template is one that I have to choose to overcome and let's face it, I'm human, I get worn down, I get angry.

Did I say those things to my daughter? NO, but within the context of the situation, that's what she heard, and that's what matters.

Does that make me a bad mom? - Sometimes

Will I make mistakes? - Definitely

Do I love my children? -Desperately

Will it all work out in the end? I can only hope so.










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Comments

Vivienne said…
Of course it will all work out in the end. I think that every mom who reads this will know that while those words may have crossed your lips, there is another side (or two) to the story and most likely taken out of context (or order.)
Hang in there.
MiMi said…
Oh man, I can relate. I had that relationship sorta with my mom. I knew she loved me, but I can count the ways that we fought hard.
If I had had facebook back then? I don't even wanna know what life would have been like.
PS We're best friends now. So you can definitely trust it should work out.
the hardest thing we have to teach our kids (and learn ourselves) is that we are imperfect humans.



tracy
blueviolet said…
The fact that it stung when you saw it shows that you care and that you don't want it to be that way. Kids will push and push and push your buttons at that age and it is so hard not to lose it. I understand.

I have had to leave the room many times so that I wouldn't say something I would regret. My kids are past that point now and the closeness and respect for you comes back. :)
It will all work out. Raising kids is hard. We all do the best we can.
otin said…
When I was 12, I wanted to go live with my father, not because I loved him any more than my Mother, but because he lived at the shore and I was a shore type kid! Upon expressing my wishes to my Mom, she said,"Go live with that asshole, You are a little bastard just like he is! You are both a couple of assholes!"
Did I forgive her? You bet I did, because, although her phrasing was horrible, she was just hurt, and in the end, she really was right, I was just being selfish!
MommaKiss said…
Well thank GOD FB wasn't around when I was growing up. Being a parent is HARD. But to see that on FB? OY. You love your kids, that's key. What doesn't kill them only makes them stronger. Or something ;)
Daisy said…
You said it yourself... its adolescence is a stage that we all pass by and knowing that you do not want to end up being like your mom is one step higher indeed! I wish you all the best and rest assured, a few years from now you and your daughter will just laugh about all these. I have that with my mom... *wink*

Btw, I was also passing by to let you know that I gave you the linky love! Just in case you haven't seen yet. And again, thanks for following! I followed you now too!

;-)
~Daisy
http://inlovewithdaisies.blogspot.com/
Theta Mom said…
I think all moms can relate to this! We just want the best for our kids while trying to do the best job we know how...thanks for following my blog. I am following back. :)

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